During a recent interview with an internet radio station, I mentioned planning a “sexcation” as a way to spice up your sex life. The host loved the idea! However, like a lot of people, he had no clue what exactly a sexcation entailed or how to go about making this happen. In this post, I’m going to talk about what sexcations are, why people plan them, and how you can go about making one fit into your relationship. I’ve seen lots of couples have wonderful successes with them, and along with their therapeutic benefit, they’re just clean (or dirty!) fun.
It’s simple. A sexcation is a vacation planned to focus on intimacy and sexual connection. You may find some people describe the sexcation as solely focused on having sex. And while that’s not completely unreasonable, it may not be what works for every couple. In fact, focussing too intently on sex can add a lot of pressure when pressure is not needed in the relationship. So I encourage clients to determine what they want to focus on and then create a plan around that goal. For example, do you just want to go at it like rabbits the whole time? Or, would you prefer to focus on getting to know your partner better and emotionally connecting? Like sex itself, sexcation involves a combination of physical and emotional connections, and figuring out a balance depends on the couple.
Making an Investment in Your Relationship
The sexcation is a way to invest in your relationship and make it a priority in your life. Many times, life gets in the way, and we have trouble prioritizing many things including our relationship and sex. A decrease in your investment is like weight gain: you don’t realize anything has changed until your clothes no longer fit! With relationships and sex, you might not realize it until it’s been several weeks or months without or with less frequent sex. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to make changes.
Where Do We Start?
Making an investment takes, at least, a little planning. Spontaneous trips are great, though you might not get what you want from the spontaneity, especially for a goal-oriented vacation like this one. Therefore, finding your goal for a sexcation is key. This will help guide where you go and what you do during the time. You also need to find the time and schedule. Scheduling means asking time off work, putting it on the calendar, and arranging for childcare, pet sitting, work deadlines, etc. More often than not, if we don’t put something on the calendar, time goes by and it might never get done.
Does this sound a bit overwhelming, or do you have more questions? Well, you’re in luck! Sign up to be a part of my community, and you’ll receive the second part of this blog, “6 Steps to Planning a Sexcation”, which also comes with a planning worksheet! You can sign up on this blog site or by visiting my website.