Courtney Geter, LMFT, CST


The goal of my blog is to share information with others on a variety of topics including sexuality, sexual development, relationships, self-improvement, and more! Since I am not an expert in all areas or fields, you will also see information from others who I respect. I’m also affiliated with many companies to offer you the best product recommendations possible. You may see various links throughout the site and blogs. My affiliation may include companies providing product for a blog review as well as commission on products.

I Married My Coworker—literally! Now what? Making workplace marriages healthy

By Courtney | March 25, 2018

Our current cultural moment has sparked some important conversations about the connection between romance, sex, and power dynamics in social relationships. These issues perhaps nowhere more salient than in the workplace, especially for spouses who work in the same office, location, or industry. While the gender dynamics in a workplace can be difficult to navigate,…

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Stop Putting Yourself Last! How Creating Space Shows Self-Worth

By Courtney | March 21, 2018

If there is one thing I know I’m good at doing, it’s creating space for myself! One day, during a water cooler break, my colleague Dr. KS exclaims, “I talked about you in a session today!” “Ooooh? Really?” I asked for more information, a little apprehensive and curious at the same time. Dr. KS replies,…

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Get to Know Courtney

By Courtney | February 22, 2018
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When Therapy, Insurance, and the Workplace Collide

By Courtney | February 18, 2018

Because I’m a therapist in my own profession, I get to learn lots of interesting things about other lines of work, jobs, and careers through my clients. (For anyone who thinks that therapy is a one-way relationship, this is a case-in-point to the contrary!) The stresses of sales goals, the effect of long-term irritation (or…

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How Giving Yourself Gifts Improves Your Relationship

By Courtney | February 12, 2018

It’s the month of love! At least the month of Hallmark-love that is! I’m writing this after returning from my birthday trip! If you don’t know what I’m typing about, get caught up here. Check out the awesome of pic and rare sighting of the BFF! (You may remember him from such scandalous adventures as…

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When Sex Becomes A Pain

By Courtney | February 4, 2018

I wanted to share with my blog readers a new group I’m starting that I think some of you regulars might find interesting. It’s a group focused on women’s sexual pain. There’s a lot of stigma and presumption about what each of those words mean, so if you’re looking for the tl;dr version, imagine interesting,…

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It’s My Party… and I can do Whatever the F*ck I Want!

By Courtney | January 30, 2018

In my last post, I mentioned that I don’t subscribe to the New Year’s Resolution bandwagon. One reason is that I found myself making unrealistic goals based on what others were doing (or saying they were going to do…) and not what I needed to do for myself. Years ago, I decided I wouldn’t make…

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When Sex Hurts Support Group Now Forming!

By Courtney | January 29, 2018
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Three Nerds, A Sex Therapist, A New Year

By Courtney | January 12, 2018

With a new year comes new adventures! I write this as I’m sitting at a table in a coffee shop with three nerds playing board games. Well, they are playing board games, and I’m providing commentary as I try to figure out what the heck is going on…Hello, Andy, Chris, and Jonathan! It was a…

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#MeToo: The Dick Pic

By Courtney | January 5, 2018

In my previous #MeToo post, I discussed change in a misogynistic system from the perspective of a family systems therapist with some expertise in systemic change at the individual and relationship level. But there are lessons from that expertise that I, myself, still haven’t learned and that I think can be instructive for anyone trying…

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Couple’s Gift Guide to Spice Up the Holidays!

By Courtney | December 6, 2017

In my last post, I talked about how difficult the holidays can be for us as individuals—and as partners. But like a third glass of eggnog, a Couple’s Gift Guide is here just in the nick of time. Is it a little excessive? Yes. Is it for everyone? Maybe no. But if you’re feeling emotionally…

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#Me,Too: The Impact of Systems

By Courtney | November 27, 2017

I want to continue sharing my thoughts, begun in a previous post, about why there is even a need for a #Me,Too campaign. As a systems therapist, I view families and relationships as a system with their own rules and expectations. Some systems are more dysfunctional and unhealthy than others. However, even a dysfunctional system…

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Holiday Stress? Take Care of YOU!

By Courtney | November 19, 2017

It’s well-known to therapists, among researchers, and as a piece of common knowledge that the holidays are stress-inducing for almost everyone. Apart from a day or two around each holiday, we plan endlessly for elaborate get-togethers, without taking time off work, and with at least a few with whom we may have…strained relationships. It’s a…

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My Male Friends Wrote My Dating Profile

By Courtney | November 16, 2017

Welcome to the conclusion of When Your Friends Write Your Dating Profile! During Part 1, we learned that my female friends know me pretty well, though the type of match their profiles would find for me might be…questionable! We also heard from dating coach, Erika Ettin about why the profile is so important. Part 2…

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My Female Friends Wrote My Dating Profile

By Courtney | November 4, 2017

I don’t know about you, but creating a dating profile is about as frustrating as cleaning the grout in your bathroom! You know you should do it, some part of you wants to do it, but it’s tedious and time-consuming and even, at times, a little bit gross. I found myself procrastinating on completing my…

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Adventures in Online Dating: When Do I Give Out My Number?!?!

By Courtney | October 23, 2017

While online dating has in many ways changed the dating game fundamentally, it does have a few interesting things in common with pre-online dating. Scheduling a second date, the first kiss, and exchanging phone numbers. Call me lazy (or busy!) or old, but I don’t use apps like What’s App or Snap Chat because They…

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#Me, Too: My Experience, My Thoughts

By Courtney | October 17, 2017

Sometimes, it’s easier to “see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.” I have to admit, this has been my attitude over the past few days with the start of the #MeToo movement. Frankly, I was moved, shocked by the outpouring, by the accounts of woman after woman. I asked myself, “why would what…

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Vacations Improve Your Mental Health: Tips to Plan an Enjoyable Get Away

By Courtney | October 16, 2017

For most families and couples, vacation planning is a mix of delight and terror. We can’t wait for time away from work, alone with our loved ones…but the thought of too much time, or time doing the wrong things, can make us long for a bit of an extension on the holiday. These anxieties are…

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Are You Mature in Age? This Is Why You Need Therapy!

By Courtney | October 10, 2017

Many people think that once they reach a certain age, they can’t change. We say people are ‘set in their ways’, ‘things were different then’ or ‘people didn’t talk about those things’ when we think about counseling and seniors. But as many therapists are attesting, seniors are expressing more interest in therapy, and benefitting from…

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Did That @$%#* Just GHOST Me?

By Courtney | October 2, 2017

What is Ghosting? Though I don’t consider myself a millennial, I come from that generation that is on the ‘millennial cusp.’ I have adapted to millennial terminology and a few behaviors, like texting instead of picking up a phone and hearing a voice. Yes, kids, there were days when texting did not exist, when you…

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The Sexcation: The Vacation that Could Save Your Sex Life

By Courtney | September 25, 2017

During a recent interview with an internet radio station, I mentioned planning a “sexcation” as a way to spice up your sex life. The host loved the idea! However, like a lot of people, he had no clue what exactly a sexcation entailed or how to go about making this happen. In this post, I’m…

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Vibration is Good for Your Sexual Health: A Review of Intimina’s KegelSmart

By Courtney | September 20, 2017

A KegelSmart Review As many of my clients, readers, and listeners know, I am a HUGE proponent for pelvic floor strength. Your pelvic floor can be weakened both by atrophy and by a variety of medical experiences – for women, pregnancy and childbirth are the most common, and it’s a seldom-discussed side effect of prostate…

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Therapy During the 40’s and 50’s: You Can Teach Older Dogs Newer Tricks!

By Courtney | September 19, 2017

Out with the Young…In with the Mature! When we reach our 40s and move into our 50s, our lives change in ways that are often difficult to prepare for psychologically in our 20s and 30s. The projects we began in those years often reach fruition: we begin to pay off student loans and mortgages; children…

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Coconut Oil as a Lube?

By Courtney | September 11, 2017

The infamous coconut oil is back the news! I’m not a coconut oil hater, nor do I believe the hype that its gazillion benefits are all fluff. On the contrary, I love coconut oil and use it for many things, including face moisturizer, hair wash, cooking, body lotion, massage lotion, and (we’re all thinking it!)…

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Why Women Don’t Respond: Insults Part 2

By Courtney | September 5, 2017

My last post discussed how insults are one reason why women don’t respond to online messages. I shared my experience with Anthony. While Anthony was lucky enough to at least get a few hours of conversation, “Heisaswellguy” didn’t even get a response, as my immediate reaction to him was, “Girl! Run, run far away!” Are…

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Now, It’s Time to Learn to Adult: How the 30th Birthday Changes Everything

By Courtney | September 4, 2017

For many of us, our 30s is the time of life when we realize that adulthood is forever and that childhood is never coming back. It hits us that, now, it’s time to learn to adult and that 30th birthday changed everything! The inevitable and frantic question that follows is: What the f*ck to do?!…

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How Therapy Benefits Emotional and Sexual Growth in Young Adults

By Courtney | September 4, 2017

A lot of anxiety and hesitation about beginning therapy is connected to a social stigma that expresses itself differently at different times in our lives but has a similar theme: “I should be ‘over’ this by now.” This sentiment couldn’t be further from the truth. Because each of our psychological profiles is literally unique, there’s…

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Why Women Don’t Respond to Online Messages: Insult Your Way to My Bed Part 1

By Courtney | August 28, 2017

Remember that time someone asked a favor of you and then insulted you behind your back? If you’re like me, your next thought probably included an obscene word followed by a vow to never help this person out. Offense and resentment can work similarly in the dating world, where an insult is the best way…

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Living with a Sex Therapist: What’s That on the Counter?

By Courtney | August 24, 2017

I know it’s been awhile since posting about Living with a Sex Therapist, but the BFF and I recently had a wonderful interaction that is a must-share! After several weeks of a male masturbation sleeve just sitting on the living room end table and no comment at all, the BFF sees my Magic Wand lying…

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