Our current cultural moment has sparked some important conversations about the connection between romance, sex, and power dynamics in social relationships. These issues perhaps nowhere more salient than in the workplace, especially for spouses who work in the same office, location, or industry. While the gender dynamics in a workplace can be difficult to navigate,…

If there is one thing I know I’m good at doing, it’s creating space for myself! One day, during a water cooler break, my colleague Dr. KS exclaims, “I talked about you in a session today!” “Ooooh? Really?” I asked for more information, a little apprehensive and curious at the same time. Dr. KS replies,…

Because I’m a therapist in my own profession, I get to learn lots of interesting things about other lines of work, jobs, and careers through my clients. (For anyone who thinks that therapy is a one-way relationship, this is a case-in-point to the contrary!) The stresses of sales goals, the effect of long-term irritation (or…

It’s the month of love! At least the month of Hallmark-love that is! I’m writing this after returning from my birthday trip! If you don’t know what I’m typing about, get caught up here. Check out the awesome of pic and rare sighting of the BFF! (You may remember him from such scandalous adventures as…

I wanted to share with my blog readers a new group I’m starting that I think some of you regulars might find interesting. It’s a group focused on women’s sexual pain. There’s a lot of stigma and presumption about what each of those words mean, so if you’re looking for the tl;dr version, imagine interesting,…

In my last post, I mentioned that I don’t subscribe to the New Year’s Resolution bandwagon. One reason is that I found myself making unrealistic goals based on what others were doing (or saying they were going to do…) and not what I needed to do for myself. Years ago, I decided I wouldn’t make…

With a new year comes new adventures! I write this as I’m sitting at a table in a coffee shop with three nerds playing board games. Well, they are playing board games, and I’m providing commentary as I try to figure out what the heck is going on…Hello, Andy, Chris, and Jonathan! It was a…

In my previous #MeToo post, I discussed change in a misogynistic system from the perspective of a family systems therapist with some expertise in systemic change at the individual and relationship level. But there are lessons from that expertise that I, myself, still haven’t learned and that I think can be instructive for anyone trying…

In my last post, I talked about how difficult the holidays can be for us as individuals—and as partners. But like a third glass of eggnog, a Couple’s Gift Guide is here just in the nick of time. Is it a little excessive? Yes. Is it for everyone? Maybe no. But if you’re feeling emotionally…

I want to continue sharing my thoughts, begun in a previous post, about why there is even a need for a #Me,Too campaign. As a systems therapist, I view families and relationships as a system with their own rules and expectations. Some systems are more dysfunctional and unhealthy than others. However, even a dysfunctional system…

It’s well-known to therapists, among researchers, and as a piece of common knowledge that the holidays are stress-inducing for almost everyone. Apart from a day or two around each holiday, we plan endlessly for elaborate get-togethers, without taking time off work, and with at least a few with whom we may have…strained relationships. It’s a…

Welcome to the conclusion of When Your Friends Write Your Dating Profile! During Part 1, we learned that my female friends know me pretty well, though the type of match their profiles would find for me might be…questionable! We also heard from dating coach, Erika Ettin about why the profile is so important. Part 2…

I don’t know about you, but creating a dating profile is about as frustrating as cleaning the grout in your bathroom! You know you should do it, some part of you wants to do it, but it’s tedious and time-consuming and even, at times, a little bit gross. I found myself procrastinating on completing my…

While online dating has in many ways changed the dating game fundamentally, it does have a few interesting things in common with pre-online dating. Scheduling a second date, the first kiss, and exchanging phone numbers. Call me lazy (or busy!) or old, but I don’t use apps like What’s App or Snap Chat because They…

Sometimes, it’s easier to “see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil.” I have to admit, this has been my attitude over the past few days with the start of the #MeToo movement. Frankly, I was moved, shocked by the outpouring, by the accounts of woman after woman. I asked myself, “why would what…

For most families and couples, vacation planning is a mix of delight and terror. We can’t wait for time away from work, alone with our loved ones…but the thought of too much time, or time doing the wrong things, can make us long for a bit of an extension on the holiday. These anxieties are…

Many people think that once they reach a certain age, they can’t change. We say people are ‘set in their ways’, ‘things were different then’ or ‘people didn’t talk about those things’ when we think about counseling and seniors. But as many therapists are attesting, seniors are expressing more interest in therapy, and benefitting from…

What is Ghosting? Though I don’t consider myself a millennial, I come from that generation that is on the ‘millennial cusp.’ I have adapted to millennial terminology and a few behaviors, like texting instead of picking up a phone and hearing a voice. Yes, kids, there were days when texting did not exist, when you…

During a recent interview with an internet radio station, I mentioned planning a “sexcation” as a way to spice up your sex life. The host loved the idea! However, like a lot of people, he had no clue what exactly a sexcation entailed or how to go about making this happen. In this post, I’m…

A KegelSmart Review As many of my clients, readers, and listeners know, I am a HUGE proponent for pelvic floor strength. Your pelvic floor can be weakened both by atrophy and by a variety of medical experiences – for women, pregnancy and childbirth are the most common, and it’s a seldom-discussed side effect of prostate…

Out with the Young…In with the Mature! When we reach our 40s and move into our 50s, our lives change in ways that are often difficult to prepare for psychologically in our 20s and 30s. The projects we began in those years often reach fruition: we begin to pay off student loans and mortgages; children…

The infamous coconut oil is back the news! I’m not a coconut oil hater, nor do I believe the hype that its gazillion benefits are all fluff. On the contrary, I love coconut oil and use it for many things, including face moisturizer, hair wash, cooking, body lotion, massage lotion, and (we’re all thinking it!)…

My last post discussed how insults are one reason why women don’t respond to online messages. I shared my experience with Anthony. While Anthony was lucky enough to at least get a few hours of conversation, “Heisaswellguy” didn’t even get a response, as my immediate reaction to him was, “Girl! Run, run far away!” Are…

For many of us, our 30s is the time of life when we realize that adulthood is forever and that childhood is never coming back. It hits us that, now, it’s time to learn to adult and that 30th birthday changed everything! The inevitable and frantic question that follows is: What the f*ck to do?!…

A lot of anxiety and hesitation about beginning therapy is connected to a social stigma that expresses itself differently at different times in our lives but has a similar theme: “I should be ‘over’ this by now.” This sentiment couldn’t be further from the truth. Because each of our psychological profiles is literally unique, there’s…

Remember that time someone asked a favor of you and then insulted you behind your back? If you’re like me, your next thought probably included an obscene word followed by a vow to never help this person out. Offense and resentment can work similarly in the dating world, where an insult is the best way…

I know it’s been awhile since posting about Living with a Sex Therapist, but the BFF and I recently had a wonderful interaction that is a must-share! After several weeks of a male masturbation sleeve just sitting on the living room end table and no comment at all, the BFF sees my Magic Wand lying…